Barbers, Bikes and the Road Home - Part one

THIS AIN’T YOUR GRANDMA’S SUNDAY DRIVE. CAPTAIN FAWCETT’S RIGHT HAND MAN TOOK THE LONG WAY ROUND ON THE ROAD OF TONSORIAL DREAMS. A LIFELONG OUTLAW WITH A PENCHANT FOR CHAOS AND ICE-CREAM, RICHIE FINNEY AND HIS TRUSTY MOTORCYCLE CARVED A TRAIL OF MAYHEM THROUGH THE MAGNIFICENT BARBERSHOPS OF EUROPE. 29 NATIONS, ONE HELL OF A RIDE. JOIN HIM FOR THE GRAND FINALE OF CAPTAIN FAWCETT’S GREAT EXPEDITION 2024.

DAY 1

Brussels, Belgium

Stunning autumnal floral window display at L’Atelier de la Barbiere showcased a host of Captain Fawcett’s ‘Gentleman’s Grooming Products’. Beautiful! Thankyou Llona and Boogie (King Charles Spaniel).

DAY 2

Brussels, Belgium and Mönchengladbach, Germany

Meet Morgan at Les Hommes, Scandi teak 50s style with working Belmont electric Barber Chairs. Fantastic! Accidentally feature in Chinese airline commercial being shot in Brussels’ famed Grote Markt. Go figure. Over the border to Germany. Welcomed by dear old friend and CF Ambassador Extraordinaire at his Herr Feldmann Barbershop. Cherry cake, good coffee, brilliant beard trim. Huge pleasure finally to visit Feldy-baby’s eclectic shop. A destination for Barbersride 2024? Check into my hotel, once a Catholic girls' school. I felt strangely at home. The shower graffiti is intriguing, although I suspect physically impossible.

DAY 3

Frankfurt, Germany

Visit Emrah’s sleek Men’s Room Barbershop. Wowser! Supercars outside, Frankfurt’s fast & furious footballers inside. Next stop Julie’s Barbershop, off the radar in an Edwardian ballet school. Lovely old oak panelled rooms host private celebrity clientele. If you know, you’re known. Then to Alex at Torreto Barbershop. Old school, buzzy, with signed photo of Mohammed Ali on wall. And he was the greatest.

DAY 4

Lauf an der Pegnitz, Germany

On the outskirts of Frankfurt, long queues are testament to Tamer’s legendary hospitality at The Man’s World 5 chair Barbershop. Brilliant. Onwards to Benny’s Haircut in medieval marketplace of Lauf an der Pegnitz. Hidden labyrinth of cellars underneath the town. Dates chiselled in the walls from 1600 and 1680. Benny has his own dungeon! Amazing. Vintage Vespa, homage to 60s & 70s counter culture. Coolio!

DAY 5

Prague, Czech Republic

Travelling! The highway’s my melody. Take the long way round, carving my destiny into the Sat Nav. My offbeat track involves a surprise ferry crossing. Who knew? Mercury flirting 30 degrees and 7 hrs in the saddle. Ditch the twisties and leg it the hotel in for a long soak. No bathroom. Not happy. Good news, I make it to a Czech restaurant just in time for a plate of Tradicni Svickova na Smetane ze spickovaneho hoveziho chuck tenderu, karlovarske knedliky, brusinky. Rolls off the tongue. What a day!

DAY 6

Prague, Czech Republic

With Jan, Captain Fawcett’s Czech Distributor, heading to Gentleman Store. Cool man stuff, luggage and grooming kit (including CF). Meet sales guru Daniel and photographer Peter. Then to U Britvy, original CF stockist in CZ, where Tomas is ably standing in for proprietor Patrick. Excellent Barbershop with first class display of Captain Fawcett products and early CF photos - nostalgia hit! On to Rebell Barbers owned by biker George. Custom Sportster outside - a work of art. Next Jan shows me the amazing new flagship ‘Gentleman’s Store’, in Karlin, uber hip part of Prague. Bound to be a huge success! At PenShop I meet Miss Dita Von Penz who sells, you guessed it, pens! She’s a delightful purveyor of writing implements and gentleman’s grooming supplies, including Captain Fawcett. Jan & team have curated a fantastic CF brand presence in Prague! Thankyou! Back at Gentleman Store for photo shoot and pod cast, to be translated into Czech. Hodně štěstí!

DAY 7

Vienna, Austria

At Royal Hair Update, esteemed Captain Fawcett stockist. Ralph, a regular Royal Ascot attendee owns a lovely shop with a Triumph Triple outside. Hit Angelo’s Borbone Barber Club, tipped off by my pal Jerome Kantner. Salon, Training Academy, Barbershop, Retail Space - beyond excellent! At Wipp Concept I’m met by Krys, (Polish) Danylo, (Italian) Umit & Musti (Turkish) who know the Captain (British) well. Brilliant set up combining Barber and Coffeeshop with Gentlemen’s VIP Concept Wellness Spa Experience. Very cool.

DAY 8

Budapest, Hungary

See dear friend Feri & daughter Franciska at Harley-Davidson. Met Feri back in 2007 working on my last Movie, though no idea it would be the last at the time. No-one knows when it’s their last movie. We should live with this in mind. At Black Sheep Barbershop greeted by manager Dora. Photos by Tim Collins on walls, brilliant captures of Fawcett Ambassadors, Ricki, Erik Pascal et al in Amsterdam way back when. Then meet Captain Fawcett’s excellent new Hungarian distributor. Swing over to Selected Barbershop by Klippers. killer space, killer crew. Back at the hotel, chilling with Melinda, chocolate mogul. Successful? I should coco!

DAY 9

Cluj-Napoca, Romania

300 miles to ride. Aching shoulder, wrist. Jeez. Need to pace myself. Torrential rain. Lovely welcome from Raluca at Bandit Barbers, super busy, magnificent salon. Another great welcome from Rares and Denys at Barber Society. Talk motorbikes, drink coffee. Jeez, when did I start drinking coffee again? Top-notch barbershop. Too tired for proper meal, grab ice cream and peanuts. Stumble to bed. Tomorrow, I ride the Transfagarasan.

DAY 10

Transfagarasan, Romania

At Mr. Friz Parlour (in Cluj-Napoca) have second breakfast with Sebastian and Tania. Mr Friz himself, splendidly moustachioed, rocks up like a Marvel Super Hero, in metal motocross gear and gold crash helmet. Way cool! Quick tour of the antique-filled shop; already behind schedule. Who planned this relentless schedule? Fire the fucker! Oh wait, that's me!

Onto Goodfellas Barbershop. Lost. A helpful chap leads the way, navigating back streets. Am I assisting in my own kidnap? Finally reach Goodfellas, closed tight. Bananas. Leave Cluj, bound for the Transfagarasan. Zoom through the Transylvanian Basin, sun on my face, visor up. Smack! Insect's parting shot is venomous. Fuck it’s painful! Famed route, 60 miles of pure bliss. Stunning, challenging ride. Wowser! One of the most stunning motorcycle roads in the world. Bears on the roadside, doing that thing they do in the woods. Cautiously snap photos hoping they don’t catch wind of my peanut stash. Hotel. Dinner with three Bulgarian chaps, talking bikes and the state of the world. Fucking brilliant day!

DAY 11

Bucharest, Romania

Meet Victor & Andrei from Smart Barber Solutions, Captain Fawcett’s esteemed Romanian distributor. Go to Cutlassic Barbershop, owned by Mihail. Delighted to meet his wife Irina and Tudor, their motorcycle-mad toddler! Did I mention they stock Captain Fawcett?! On to House of Barbers where award-winning hair stylist Christian runs a renowned Barber training academy. Brilliant design-led interior. Next stop Creative Barber. Valentin has three Barber Shops, one decorated with military memorabilia, others in very different style. Spoke with Daniel and Razvan the friendly Razor Man. Popped into Smart Barber Solutions HQ. Impressive! Left to the sound of a baritone echoing through the streets from the open air opera. Unreal!

DAY 12

Lovech, Bulgaria

Face swollen, inordinately stressed, I enter Bulgaria, furthest destination from home on this Leg. Medication and extreme heat making me dangerously drowsy, a soporific dream-like state I once paid a fortune to enjoy. Hotel overlooking the river is an absolute beaut. Grab a most welcome bath before walking down to the town square. Eat. Bed. Sparko.

DAY 13

Sofia, Bulgaria

Meet Reuben of Elephant Book Store, Captain Fawcett’s esteemed Bulgarian distributor and Georgi & Zara Ilian from Bulgarian TV. To Balkan Barber, run by Jordan and his brothers. Very Zen. Ate delicious Buffalo Tomatoes grown by his grandmother, perfect accompaniment for Reuben’s Banitsa. Then to see Kotoy at Rock’n’Roll Barbershop, 60’s vibes, Skate and Surf Boards, Vintage Playboys. Ace! Onwards to talk with my old chum Kiril about getting Sid Sottung over for education event at his first class Head Hunters Levski Barbershop training academy. Meet Master Barber Artyom, cool bearded, tatted body builder. Forwards to Mihail’s beautifully decorated Brasnarnicata. Coffee and biscuits. As I left, his pal Alexander muttered ‘He’s come in like Father Christmas, eaten all the cookies and fucked off.’ Lock up your food chaps, the RH Man is coming! Now I’m Prison Bound: superb haircuts, ink, and Jameson-fuelled madness. Bulgarian TV cameras rolling as I judge the Barber Competition. Reuben has totally nailed this whirlwind tour. What a blast!

DAY 14

Belgrade, Serbia

Stop on the deserted motorway hardshoulder and write up my notes. See column of migrants from Afghanistan. In truth we are all nomads, seeking a better world. Arrive in Belgrade. Break every road rule riding across a city park and along cycle lanes. No room to swing a cat in the hotel. Just as well, as I didn’t bring one. Meet Nemanja of Grooming Masters, Captain Fawcett’s esteemed Serbian distributor. Immediately calming. Eat well at a riverside restaurant whilst planning next day.

DAY 15

Belgrade, Serbia

Incredible day! Nemanja pulls out all the stops. Hugely enjoyable! First to Bricko Barbershop. Vlada is in top hat and tails whilst his chum Stefan plays traditional Serbian folksongs on his trumpet! The shop resembles a Fin de Siècle Parisian Music Hall. Amazing! Head to meet Dusan at Berbernica Legat. Back wall is decorated with a huge mural by Dusan’s brother, reproducing Picasso’s famed anti-war painting Guernica. We speak of heritage, children and the future. Next to Dino Barbershop where Dino offers superb Russian sweets and fabulous hospitality. And on to great old school Tanko where Dusan and Ilija, CF stockists, give me a bottle of Slivovich, safely transported back to Blighty! After swift bowl of tomato soup, I meet Bojan and his lovely dog Joca at Monkey Kings. Incredible back bar, made from vintage aeroplane fuselage! Next to The Barbers. Karlo, Milan and Bata have 3 shops with a fast and furious vibe! Buzzing! And so to Grooming Masters, Nemanja’s flagship - so impressed by the presentation of CF’s products! Head to Ivan Barbershop. Ivan is a keen biker, we’re met by his mates on Harleys. Cool. Last, but by no means least, Barber Academy, training school run by Scumbassador Karlo. We tarry awhile, speaking of mutual friends and adventures yet to come.

9 shops visited on this excellent, totally bananas day! More tomato soup and I’m out for the count. 15 days done, 15 to go. Have to pace myself better if I am to complete this challenge in one piece. But I’m on the flip side, Blighty bound.